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A lot of people, especially teenagers, in this day and time find people disposable. Whether it be friends or relationships we don't take the time to truly cherish them and their worth, but instead we throw them away and everything that was good about them turns into a lie.
Growing up I never understood why people got into a relationship and would say that they loved them and then when it was over they made that same person out to be the scum of the earth. What made them hate each other so much? Was it even hate? Did they do something wrong? Or was it the fact that we don't want to seem like they care? As if caring is so terrible. Society has molded and hardened us to a point where we don't want to show that we care. We are influenced to think that having a soft heart in a cruel world makes us weak and vulnerable not kind, caring, or strong. This couldn't be further from the truth. Maybe that special someone did break your heart, but mistakes are inevitable, that doesnt go to say that whatever they did was ok it just means that not everything that happened before that was a lie. Not everything in your relationship was a lie, not everything was meant to hurt you. At some point you may wonder "how did we get to this point", talk to them communication is key, if you have some lingering thoughts they probably have some too. And the crazy thing is they would most likely be ok with you asking questions; after all you poured your life and months into them so why act like strangers now? Leaving things unanswered will eat away at you more than it will ever eat away at them.
So yeah maybe you deserved a better goodbye, but those weren't meant to be easy and maybe that's why it went so wrong, because it was hard. If your taking a hard class then you could get all the test answers wrong, but if the questions leave you feeling "?????" then maybe your in the wrong class. If he or she doesnt leave you feeling !!!!!! then are they really the one? The crazy thing is you know what you want but are often blinded by what you can have. When you were a kid and you went to an arcade or chuck e cheese you had to make decisions on whether you wanted to buy an abundance of little things or use all of your tickets on one big prize, you probably knew what you wanted but other things still made it distracting. The worst advice I ever got was "Ally your standards are too high." and it wasn't like I wanted my significant other to look a certain way or enjoy a certain activity, no I just wanted someone I could have a connection with and someone who would share my values and beliefs and always keep me laughing. Is that too much to ask? No it isnt and it never was.
In that place and time that person was good and for you and maybe that's all it was and maybe that's all it will ever be, but that's ok. You shouldn't worry yourself over things that could've been done differently or what could've been. If you've done all that you can do then worrying about your situation is just going through it twice and if the situation is out of your hands then it deserves freedom from your mind too. Life is only what you make of it and life is too short to worry about things out of your control, but there is a lot you can control and a lot you can enjoy focus on those and a new look on life might be opened up for you.
One of the biggest strengths and weaknesses a person can possess in my opinion if having mercy and being able to forgive. Forgiveness is one of the biggest emotional strengths out there, it's something that doesnt have to be done but is a concious decision every time it's acted upon, and when has anyone ever regretted forgiving someone? Forgiveness heals your soul more than the other, they make be looking for reassurance while you long for a closure that only you can provide. Many hearts need a surgeon. Many souls need a friend. Learn to love yourself before you love anyone else, it's hard to pour into others if you only take from yourself. A coffee pot can't pour anything if it's empty.