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In my opinion mental health is taken too lightly and is widely misunderstood. The public should be made aware of illnesses that affect a large population but there is a line between awareness and relatability that too often gets crossed. Having anxiety is not a character trait. It's not something you want to have. It's not something one puts on to fit in. Anxiety is not chosen nor is it wanted.
Anxiety's medical definition is: "Intense, excessive, and persistent worry and fear about everyday situations. Fast heart rate, rapid breathing, sweating, and feeling tired may occur." Google definition is "Anxiety is your body's natural response to stress. It's a feeling of fear or apprehension about what's to come." I realized I had anxiety in third grade. My family wanted to go to the skating rink and I felt sick to my stomach, I loved the thought of going but as soon as it came close to leaving my house I couldnt go through with it. My family thought I was genuinely sick with a stomach bug, so we decided to postpone skating to another day. I ended up feeling better and I never threw up. We decided to go the next day and the same thing happened and we stayed home. On day three my dad said I was fine and we got in the car to be on our way; in the car I progressively get worse. I felt like i was going to vomit, I cant look at my window because it scares me to know we are getting closer, I find it hard to breathe or talk, and I sat in silence. When we arrived I was pale and felt super sick, my dad said I wasnt in any condition to skate and so we all went home. A week passes and my dad says we're going skating, I say ok and that I feel fine and honestly I want to go skating. We go and I feel fine until we get there, we get to the door and I stop and say no I cant do this, you guys are going to have to do this without me and I beg to go back home. My dad wont take no for an answer and says we have to go inside so we do and it freaks me out at first but then I feel fine.
To me it feels like a storm is passing, but instead of it just passing by I have to go through it which isnt fun. It's like your body is freaking out without any need to, but then once placed in a situation a switch is flipped and you feel safe and comfortable. I was never scared of skating and had no reason to not want to go. For me this was the hardest thing, there was no explanation for why I felt the way I felt and most people dont know what to do or what to tell you in that situation. My family said I would get too excited whenever we tried something new and overworked myself until I made myself sick. It got worse. I got anxiety when talking to new people, walking in a room full of people, being put in an unknown situation, and trying new places. We would go as a family to a new restraunt and I would sit in the back with my forehead resting on the seat in front of me, hands under my thighs, and I bit down on the insides of my cheeks to try to stop the nervousness. My family's words of comfort were "theres nothing to be anxious about" and "you're going to be ok". These words were true, but I cant say they carried any meaning or affected the way I felt. The problem was that I knew these things and couldn't grasp why my body felt the need to freak out.
Fortunately im glad to say that my anxiety has improved; not really for any special reason or anything I did but I understand my anxiety more and what triggers it. I know what I will feel when anxious, this way im prepared, not quite comfortable but more aware. Do i still freak out? yes. Do I still panic? yes. Am I more comfortable in who I am? Yes. I trust that I can get through my roadblock of anxiety because I've done it before and I can do it again. Backing down is only telling yourself that you cant allow yourself to feel comfortable and you cant allow yourself to be in control. This is untrue and is only the anxiety talking. Remember how it feels to break through and overcome your anxiety; each time you face it it's different and will continue to feel brand new as you go through it, but anxiety is the same monster just with different scares.
Something a lot of people dont notice is anxiety isn't the same as a fear and it's not a one and done thing that someone can just "get over" or "face". No it's a continual, unpredictable, thought and body process of losing control, getting tense, and being scared all in one. And anxiety doesnt just occur when someone is scared or nervous it occurs in everyday normal occurences; people who have anxiety have difficulty doing things most people wouldn't a problem. With anxiety we dont chose what bothers us, we enter a situation and realize we aren't comfortable but we also dont know what to do or how to cope. Even voicing our feelings doesn't always help seeing as most people dont understand why we feel the way we do or what the next step is to help someone who is anxious.
Breathe. Just breathe. Anytime someone is trying to calm someone down, breathing will probably be their first recommendation. Breathing gives your body a distraction from whatever is distracting you, as you breathe you are slowing down your heart rate and hopefully slowing down the train of thoughts racing through your mind.
Ground yourself. Grounding is calmly looking around you and identifying 5 things you can see, 4 things you can touch, 3 things you can hear, 2 things you can smell, and 1 thing you can taste. This makes you comfortable with your surroundings and can make you feel safe knowing that you are still in control and the world isnt ending or changing it's just your thoughts running wild.
Dont work against your anxiety. Anxiety is like an ocean, you start to feel like your drowning and if you begin to thrash around in the water around you, you wont feel better but instead you will tire yourself in a state of panic and maybe end up worse than how you began. Your mind is the very thing worrying you and ironically the very thing you can use to calm yourself. We can't always chose how we feel and maybe we aren't always in control, but we can choose how we react and if we are knocked down we always have the ability to get back up again.